A Strange Month

August turned out to be a strange month for me. Things were going well the first few days of the month: My classes at Indiana University ended well, my car recovered from surgery, and I felt excited about my return home. 

I knew a lot of work was waiting for me at home: I needed to clean everything because I had activated three bug bomb foggers right before leaving, the sunroom still needed to be built, the frame of the old cabin still had to be removed, and I wanted to paint the floor of the cabin. All this was physical work, though, and I looked forward to completing all these tasks. 

I arrived home late afternoon on Sunday, August 7, to a dead plant on the porch. I had left my jasmine outside so that my neighbor could water it. There were two jugs containing questionable liquids next to it. I smelled them: One was obviously bleach and the other I couldn't tell. My neighbor said it was Miracle Grow. I asked why there was bleach near my plant and he said he didn't know. 

Inside, I scrubbed a small area of the floor near the door, where I made a temporary bed for the dogs and myself to rest that evening until I could work on cleaning the rest of the cabin in the morning. 

The next morning, I started cleaning and unloading the car at the same time, and since I moved things around to clean under them, I began to paint the floor, little by little, waiting for one part to dry before moving things back and painting the section next to it. With high temperatures outside, I didn't paint too much because I didn't want the smell of paint to bother us. The dogs and I went for short walks, and I even let them stay cool in the car with the air conditioner and music on while I applied a second coat of paint.

It took two days for the bedroom to be ready, and we could finally sleep comfortably in our beds. I continued to close off small sections of the floor and paint them. The dogs and I continued to go out for fresh air.

As I went in and out of the cabin, I noticed the large windows I had left leaning against my small shed were both broken. It looked like someone had just kicked them really hard. I hoped whichever one of my neighbors had done this felt better now. I would have to buy new windows for the sunroom. 

I decided to not pay attention to the negative stuff and go online to chat with someone I considered a trusted friend, just to remind myself that I can focus on good things when something bad happens. This trusted friend sent me pictures she had taken of me after I had specifically asked her not to take my picture. This upset me much more than seeing the broken windows had. Maybe she thought she was being funny, or maybe she did it to hurt my feelings... Whatever her intentions were, I felt betrayed. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that no matter how much I loved her, I could no longer be myself around this person. 

As I continued to clean the cabin, I noticed other things that had gone wrong during my absence. To make things worse, some mail I was expecting never arrived, a few of my book reviews were deleted, new people I met online deceived me with their lies, my friend's sister died, my laptop completely stopped working, and I found out I have several new health issues. 

I am still trying to find the lesson, or lessons, I am supposed to learn from these incidents that occurred one after the other in one month. I'm grateful to be here, to have my dogs by my side, to have a shelter, and to be able to manage. I hope September will be kinder.