Language: Tirades & Judgement

I've often heard, or read, friends and colleagues complain about people's bad grammar or spelling. It's usually because the misuse of language has caused some confusion and led to some misunderstanding. However, sometimes these complaints turn into tirades and judgement.

People are judged for making grammar and spelling mistakes. Even the word “mistake” implies someone is to blame. This judgement, in the form of tirades, includes correlations between mistakes in the use of language features and characteristics such as carelessness, irresponsibility, laziness, lack of intelligence, or even being immoral.

Although I admit that I agree everyone should communicate in a clear manner, that some level of responsibility is expected in interactions just as we expect a driver to signal when changing lanes, and that I have told my students working on the second draft of their essay to stop being lazy and check the dictionary, I believe some of these are correlations are exaggerated.

As someone who has taught college students, I have personally met many intelligent students who make mistakes in their syntax and spelling. I've also met other professors who make mistakes in their writing. Therefore, I cannot agree that a person lacks intelligence for not using correct linguistic features. Also, people who call others immoral due to linguistic mistakes do so because they firmly believe by misusing linguistic features they are ruining the language. In reality, language constantly evolves; it always has. Some features in language become more simplified for practical reasons, and many new words are added due to advances and changes in society.

The truth is everyone makes mistakes, even those who accuse others of ruining the language. Linguists make mistakes. Grammarians make them, too. So do proofreaders. And writers make mistakes. I have been a linguist, a grammar instructor, a proofreader, and a writer for decades; I am good at my job and I pay attention to details... and I make mistakes. Nobody is perfect.

Language is sometimes the focus and sometimes just a tool for interaction.

If language is used merely as a tool to communicate in areas other than language itself and the mistakes in grammar or spelling don't confuse anyone or render the communication ambiguous in a way that would impact the outcome of the interaction, mistakes are tolerable, no matter who misuses language features. No harm, no foul.

In my line of work, language is the focus, and there's an unspoken expectation of me, and of my colleagues, to have mastered it to some level because it is a required qualification for the job.

However, it would be unreasonable to expect everyone to have that command of language. For instance, I not only accept mistakes from my students, who are from other countries and learning English as a second language, but expect it from them. Making errors in syntax is one of the stages of language acquisition. Besides, if they mastered their language skills, they wouldn't belong in my class.

Today, many people interact on various social media platforms, and English is often used in many conversations. Although as a linguist, I appreciate those who have mastered the English language and use it properly and, as an ESL instructor, I applaud those for whom English is a second or third language, but use it well, I cannot expect it.

English spelling is very irregular. Many letters are written but not pronounced and many sounds are heard but not written. Letter combination may sound one way in one word and a completely different way in another. To make my students aware of the irregularities in the English language, on the first day of class, I write the word “ghoti” on the board and ask every single student to pronounce it. After everyone has had a turn, I shock the students by telling them it's pronounced “fish”:
“gh” sounds like “f” as in “enough”
“o” sounds like “i” as in “women”
“ti” sounds like “sh” as in “nation”
I urge them to learn the pronunciation, spelling, part of speech, and use of every word they look up for meaning because of these irregularities.

As a teacher and a proofreader, I'm used to correcting mistakes when I see them. However, recently, I have learned to resist the urge in situations when it is not expected of me to do so, mainly because I feel my correction might upset the writer, even if it's done privately.  Since last week, I've asked random people, in the form of short surveys on various online platforms, whether or not they would want to be corrected through a private message if they made a mistake. Most people have responded that they would consider it petty or presumptuous. Some even stated that correcting others is the corrector's way of feeling above them, that the corrector has a need to insinuate superiority. This demonstrates it's not only the person making mistakes who is judged but also the corrector.

I find this to be a matter of perspective, though. In those surveys, several people shared my views on the subject and asked me to correct them if I saw a mistake. As for me, I do want to be corrected through a private message. I would appreciate it because it would save me from embarrassment. I would also appreciate anyone's effort to clarify something I might have said if it contained any ambiguity or lacked clarity, especially if it made them feel uncomfortable in any way.

Communication isn't only about delivering a message but also about receiving it. As I mentioned in my previous post, perceptions are very subjective. People should try to be generous in their assumptions of others' intentions, particularly when these interactions are not face to face and non-verbal cues are not available. There are ways to clarify misunderstandings, to make sure that we have understood the intended message: by admitting that you are unsure about what the speaker/writer means, by stating what you understood and checking whether this was what they meant, and, if necessary, by being prepared to let go of your initial assumption.

Everybody reacts to situations in a different way. Nobody is perfect. All people make mistakes, and not just related to grammar and spelling, all kinds of mistakes. It's not about not making mistakes; it's about not letting our egos get in the way of learning from those mistakes in an effort to better ourselves and not rushing to judgement.

Noosha the Grammar Nazi

I'm a stickler for correct grammar, and sometimes I correct people when I see a mistake in their writing. I often do it through private messages, though, because my goal is not to humiliate them, but to make them aware of their mistake. Why do I do it? My goal is definitely not to upset people. The way I see it, if English is their second language, there's a chance they don't know that particular language feature, so it will teach them. If they're native speakers, on the other hand, I think they would, or they should, appreciate someone preventing them from having a typo in their work, especially if they're in my line of work. I know I would.

I've been teaching English-as-a-Second-Language for over thirty years, and I'm a proofreader. As an instructor, I know my students really appreciate my careful attention to their speaking and writing. When they speak incorrectly, I repeat their sentence the way they should have said it, and they know me well enough to know I am teaching them, not humiliating them, so they repeat it after me to make sure they've learned it. Also, when I correct their writing, sometimes my corrections are focused on a specific language feature like verb tenses or the use of correct transition words and phrases, so I don't circle any other kind of mistake. Many of them give me their papers again after class and ask me to circle all their mistakes. The purpose of correcting errors is very clear in class. Even outside of class, I'm careful not to share on Facebook, where many of my students are my friends, anything that has incorrect grammar or spelling in it. If I really like something despite the mistake, I will share it and explain, in a comment, that there is a mistake. Sometimes, I even make it a challenge: Find the error in this post.

Outside of class, very often people thank me for correcting them, but from time to time I get called “Grammar Nazi” by someone who doesn't appreciate it. I don't understand why they don't like it. I would thank a person who would save me from embarrassment. In fact, I got really upset one day when I went to a local house of pancakes for breakfast before running some errands only to discover a couple of hours later that I had been walking around with a piece of pancake stuck to the tip of my nose. I don't know how it got there, but there it was with syrup and butter and everything. And all morning I had been walking around, interacting with people and nobody had the decency to tell me about it. So... no, I don't understand why people don't like it, but I don't mind the name calling as much as I mind people not getting my point. I don't like miscommunication.

I think that many problems in various kinds of relationships are due to miscommunication. It doesn't matter whether it's with a family member, a romantic partner, or a co-worker. The tone of voice and body language often help clarify what we mean when we interact in person. However, with the advance of technology, email and text messages have replaced other more personal forms of interaction. Particularly in the last decade or so, with people actively participating in conversations on various social media platforms, miscommunication can lead to grief or even depression when it can be easily prevented by using language features correctly and exchanging information clearly.

After all, clear communication is the purpose of language. That's why we have so many adjectives. We use them to describe nouns so that the image created in the reader's or listener's mind matches the one in ours. For example, when I talk to my friend and say I bought a table, I'm not communicating the shape, size, material, or color of the table. Unless I add a few modifiers, it's not clear if my table is round, square, rectangular, or oval, if it's small or large, whether the table is made of wood, glass, or metal, if it's a coffee table, a side table, or a dining table, etc. Most likely whether or not I describe the kind of table I buy won't have an impact on my relationship with my friend, but the point is that for more serious matters the clarity of communication is significant. It's also true that in some cases grammar mistakes don't make the meaning of a sentence ambiguous, but it many cases they do.

Reading comprehension is already subjective in that it varies from person to person. We perceive and interpret things based on perspective, circumstance, culture, environment, upbringing, and even mood. Sometimes even the same person reading the same book in two different stages of life will perceive a different message. I'm speaking from personal experience: I've read The Alchemist three times (actually read it twice and listened to Jeremy Irons read the book once), once every five or six years over the last twenty years. Each time I've had a different understanding of it.

Now imagine a person who has no idea who you are, what your beliefs are, what your religious and cultural background is, where you were raised, what kind of parents and teachers you've had, what your current circumstances are, what your present mood is, what your triggers are, and what your language abilities are wants to exchange some kind of information with you on social media. Now imagine you don't know anything about this person at all. You don't know who they are, what their beliefs are, what their religious and cultural background is, where they were raised, what kind of parents and teachers they've had, what their current circumstances are, what their present mood is, what their triggers are, and what their language abilities are. At the very least, what both of you can do to help this communication take place effectively is to follow some basic rules. Being polite to each other and using language correctly seem to be the most basic rules. Now imagine that what one considers polite may be rude to the other, depending on the culture. The only thing you have left is language.

I see it all the time on Facebook, people attacking each other because they've misunderstood one another. As a person who has traveled a lot and has become familiar with many cultures and as an English teacher with experience teaching to students from all over the world, I tend to “get” people more easily than some, and I see how much not getting what people really mean to say affects the mood. I've lost count of the number of times I've left a comment for someone asking them to check my message to them on Messenger (if you're not “friends,” they don't know to look for it unless you tell them), and in my message I've explained that in their communication with this other person, they had misunderstood each other. Of course, the misunderstanding leads to certain assumptions and so forth. Before you know it, what could have been a simply beautiful sharing of information suddenly turns into a nightmare.  Sometimes it's cultural, but most times it's grammatical. Using a double negative, the wrong verb tense, or bad punctuation (or no punctuation at all) can lead to a disaster, and it's senseless. It can so easily be prevented.  Keep in mind English is not everyone's first language. Some people do mean well but don't know how to express themselves or their true feelings in English.  They are trying and they are learning.  At least the side that has the knowledge and ability to use the language correctly should do their best.

I hope that people who read this post will make an effort to be grammatically, and otherwise, effective in their communications. I also hope that they can learn to be more generous in their assumptions when they are interacting with someone they don't know on social media. 

Noosha – aka Grammar Nazi