Keep Going

It's finally the last day of April. At the end of last month, I was feeling very sick. I couldn't breathe, my throat was sore, I had chills, my chest hurt, my muscles were sore, and I felt exhausted every moment. I didn't know if I had the flu, bronchitis, pneumonia, or Covid-19. I just knew I didn't feel like doing anything. Before I got sick, I had plans for the next few months; I had goals, and I had set deadlines for myself to reach those goals. I wanted to edit that first draft I had written. I wanted to move forward with my construction project. I was too tired to do anything, though. I had no energy, and I had no hope for the future, so my brain kept telling me there was no point.

I was getting more and more depressed. I was constantly worrying about my dogs, wondering what would happen to them if I died. My dogs have never been separated from each other since they were born a decade ago, and I didn't know anyone who would want to take three dogs, no matter how cute, loving, or obedient they are. I thought about the dogs so much I couldn't think about anything else, and I couldn't function at all.

Someone had tweeted something about April NaNoWriMo on the last day of March, and I thought it would be a good idea for me to get on the site, register, set a goal, and force myself to reach that goal. So I did just that. I decided I would write fifty thousand words by the end of April; that would mean finishing the rewriting of my memoir, or so I thought at the time. I actually thought by the end of this month, I would have completed my second draft. So on April 1^st, I started writing, and every day, I tried to rewrite my work in progress, “tried” being the key word. Reaching the daily word count, my daily goal, was a challenge because I couldn't focus on my memoir. I ended up writing about everything else: how I felt, the dogs, lies people told, how people reacted to social distancing, life in the woods, abuse, my parents, corruption, my former students, my problems, my disease. I wrote about anything that would fill the page and make me reach my daily goal of written words.

On April 28^th, I reached my big goal with two days to spare. I looked back at my writing and realized this April NaNoWriMo didn't help me with the rewriting of my memoir. However, it gave me something to focus on other than the dogs' future as I imagined it, it started two other potential books, it kept me going. Today, on April 30^th, I still don't feel well and I still don't have a solution for my dogs, but I didn't waste the whole month worrying; I stayed active, I forced myself to function.

Today, I mowed the lawn, I arranged to have the plumbing of the new cabin completed, and I ordered blocks to start working on the walls. I don't know how far I'll get, but I'll keep moving forward.

End of the Tunnel

The last time I posted an update on my unknown respiratory problem was eight days ago. My chest was burning from inside as if I had swallowed fire. That lasted three days. I started feeling a little better after that, but I wasn't sure if my improved condition would last, so I didn't post anything. I'd felt better for a couple of days in the past, but things had gotten worse again. I haven't had any chest pain for six days. I do experience a little tightness from time to time when I try to take a deep breath, but it doesn't feel nearly as scary as it did the first couple weeks. I still have a sore throat and I do feel a little congestion, but that's all.

During the last three weeks, I never had any fever, never lost my sense of smell or taste, and never had blue lips. I had all the other symptoms of Covid-19, but it wasn't the symptoms that scared me; it was my inability to breathe, to inhale. Thankfully, that's over. When I feel a little tightness in my chest or shortness of breath now, all I have to do is step outside, and it goes away after a few seconds.

I never got tested, so I don't know what I had, or have. I never saw a doctor. I never took any medicine, except for low-dose aspirin, which I have been regularly taking the last few years.

I only followed, religiously, the fifteen home remedies for bronchitis, which I found online:

1. lemon (eat fresh with its skin)

2. ginger and garlic (add to food & ginger tea)

3. eucalyptus oil (steam/inhale)

4. mustard

5. chicken soup (I had lentil soup instead)

6. raw honey

7. salt water (gargle)

8. steam diffusing

9. menthol rub

10. garlic concoction (hot water, raw garlic, ginger, honey, chili pepper)

11. rest

12. warm bath (I took hot showers instead)

13. analgesics (menthol rub & low-dose aspirin)

14. water

15. sun

I'm not back to normal, whatever normal was. I still cough and sometimes even wheeze, and my throat still hurts. However, I am, and have been for the last few days, able to function, and I believe being out in the sun, which has sadly disappeared since yesterday, helped me a great deal.

I feel I'm getting better. If that changes, I'll post an update.

Take care and stay safe.

Cyberstalking

Noosha the Dragon

Here's an update for those who have been following my unknown disease.

It's day fifteen since my cough and shortness of breath started, and I still don't have a fever. My chest still hurts. I still cough a lot and wheeze. I still experience shortness of breath. I had felt nausea from day one, but I hadn't actually thrown up until yesterday. In the last five days/nights, I haven't had the chills I was experiencing the first ten nights. Other than the absence of chills, everything is worse than it was.

Since last Saturday, in addition to starting my days with a smoothie as usual, I've been following the fifteen at-home remedies for bronchitis I found online to support my lungs: chewing raw garlic and ginger, eating one lemon a day with its skin, drinking hot water with honey, lemon, garlic, ginger, and pepper in it, applying menthol rub on my throat and chest (and back – thank you, Medea, for this tip), inhaling eucalyptus oil mixed with hot water, drinking lots of water, and having soup at least once a day.

A couple days into this treatment, I felt a little better, and I thought I was beating whatever this is. I was doing relatively well all day Tuesday and even part of Wednesday, but it got bad again on Wednesday. My shortness of breath returned and I started gasping for air again. Starting yesterday, things have changed a little, unfortunately, not for the better.

Yesterday, Thursday, was the first day I threw up. Also, starting last night, the back of my throat has been feeling uncomfortably hot. My whole chest feels hot from inside. I've been coughing and wheezing non-stop today. I still don't have a fever yet even though I feel I'm burning. I can still smell and taste. I do not have blue lips. My throat is sore, but it's not the kind of sore throat I would get if I had a cold; it's sore from coughing, or, at least, that's what I think. My chest hurts and burns a lot. Breathing is hard both through the mouth and the nose. I feel exhausted even though I take naps all the time.

When I started feeling better on Tuesday, I thought I would wait a few days to make sure everything was going well and write a more positive blog post. That didn't happen, though, and it was time for an update, so I wrote this. I'll keep documenting this as much as I can.

Take care and stay safe.

Covid-19: Beyond Washing Hands

Yesterday, I ran out of fruits and vegetables. I was planning on ordering them online and having them delivered, but there is no such service around here for perishable items, so I put my armor on and went to the store very early in the morning, when most people were still sleeping. The store shelves didn't look as pitiful as they had the last two weeks. As I was thinking about getting a loaf of freshly baked bread the gentleman was placing on the shelf, I heard a loud sneeze and looked in that direction. The lady who worked in the deli had sneezed all over the meats she was arranging for the display. She wasn't wearing a mask or gloves. I watched as she wiped her mouth and nose with her hand and continued to work. I stood there disgusted by what I had just witnessed and started rethinking the items I had put in my cart. It's needless to say I immediately lost my desire for freshly baked bread. I put back a few items which I thought had been packaged in the store. Clearly, the store policies didn't require their workers who have contact with the food to wear masks or gloves.

Then I saw two store employees were standing about two feet apart in the vegetable section chatting. They were standing right by the broccoli I was about to take. The broccoli wasn't covered. I suddenly decided I didn't need fresh vegetables. I ended up buying only frozen vegetables. It doesn't mean those are cleaner. I don't know how they were packed, but at least I hadn't personally seen them get sprayed by people.

How do we expect to get rid of Covid-19 if those who make and distribute food don't cooperate? They say wash your hands and don't touch your eyes, nose, and mouth. What about the food we put in our mouths? Where is that coming from? Who is touching it? Would it help to cook it, freeze it, heat it?

A few days ago, I saw my neighbor pass by. We waved. I was standing outside, leaning against my car, enjoying the sun, playing Word Chums on my phone. About half an hour later, he came back and stopped to say hi. He said he had bought a pizza but he hadn't stayed to eat it there. He wanted to eat it at home, where it was safer. How did he know the person who prepared the pizza wasn't sick? Generally, when I ask questions like that, people usually call me crazy or stupid or weird. It doesn't bother me that they call me names; it does, however, bother me that they're not willing to use their brain and think. I kept my mouth shut because I knew it would be pointless. He would go home and eat that pizza no matter what I said, so why ruin it for him? This was the same man who also asked me if I wanted a mask and, before I could answer, took out an unwrapped mask and a used tissue out of his pocket and offered me the mask with his bare hand that had just touched his steering wheel on which he had just sneezed.

We need to pay more attention and be more alert.

It's not just about washing hands.

Wipe everything you touch daily with bleach, and do it regularly.

Wash your glasses with warm water and soap, and don't forget the handles. You touch them more than you think you do.

Wipe your car keys.

Wipe your phones often, and not just the screen. Don't forget the charger.

Wipe your home door knobs and handles, even those little ones on the kitchen drawers.

Wipe all the faucets. Wipe the flush handle on the toilet.

Wipe your remote controls.

Wipe the steering wheel, the gear stick, the window button, the door handle on the inside and outside of your car.

Now they're saying the virus can live on your shoes for five days. Take them off outside if you can. If you touch your shoes to tie them, put them on, or take them off, don't forget to immediately wash your hands.

If you're using a scarf as a mask, like I am, wash it after every use.

If you're wearing gloves that are not disposable, wash them or wipe them, depending on their material.

Don't forget your belt buckles.

Wash your hair pins and bands, and don't forget to wash your hair. We touch our hair a lot, and when we go out, it's exposed to pretty much everything. So basically, our hair is bringing home lots of things we don't want. If you go out, wash your hair and all your clothes as soon as you get back home.

Wash your hands before and after you use the bathroom, not just after.

If you take medicine, vitamins, and/or supplements, wipe the bottles.

When you use utensils, make sure you wash their handles thoroughly. The same goes for pots and pans. Don't forget your mugs and cups.

If you use spray bottles to clean and disinfect, wash the outside of the bottles regularly.

Wipe your books, notebooks, and clipboards you use daily with a cotton ball and vinegar.

Wipe your pens and pencils.

Wash or wipe any tools you use for your hobbies.

Wipe the keyboard on your laptop or desktop. Don't forget the mouse.

Speaking of mouse, if you have pets, like I do, wash or wipe their collars and leashes and the little fasteners on their harnesses. Wipe their coats with baby wipes regularly. Wipe their paws with baby wipes, too.

There's a lot more, but these are all I can think of now.