Noosha the Grammar Nazi

I'm a stickler for correct grammar, and sometimes I correct people when I see a mistake in their writing. I often do it through private messages, though, because my goal is not to humiliate them, but to make them aware of their mistake. Why do I do it? My goal is definitely not to upset people. The way I see it, if English is their second language, there's a chance they don't know that particular language feature, so it will teach them. If they're native speakers, on the other hand, I think they would, or they should, appreciate someone preventing them from having a typo in their work, especially if they're in my line of work. I know I would.

I've been teaching English-as-a-Second-Language for over thirty years, and I'm a proofreader. As an instructor, I know my students really appreciate my careful attention to their speaking and writing. When they speak incorrectly, I repeat their sentence the way they should have said it, and they know me well enough to know I am teaching them, not humiliating them, so they repeat it after me to make sure they've learned it. Also, when I correct their writing, sometimes my corrections are focused on a specific language feature like verb tenses or the use of correct transition words and phrases, so I don't circle any other kind of mistake. Many of them give me their papers again after class and ask me to circle all their mistakes. The purpose of correcting errors is very clear in class. Even outside of class, I'm careful not to share on Facebook, where many of my students are my friends, anything that has incorrect grammar or spelling in it. If I really like something despite the mistake, I will share it and explain, in a comment, that there is a mistake. Sometimes, I even make it a challenge: Find the error in this post.

Outside of class, very often people thank me for correcting them, but from time to time I get called “Grammar Nazi” by someone who doesn't appreciate it. I don't understand why they don't like it. I would thank a person who would save me from embarrassment. In fact, I got really upset one day when I went to a local house of pancakes for breakfast before running some errands only to discover a couple of hours later that I had been walking around with a piece of pancake stuck to the tip of my nose. I don't know how it got there, but there it was with syrup and butter and everything. And all morning I had been walking around, interacting with people and nobody had the decency to tell me about it. So... no, I don't understand why people don't like it, but I don't mind the name calling as much as I mind people not getting my point. I don't like miscommunication.

I think that many problems in various kinds of relationships are due to miscommunication. It doesn't matter whether it's with a family member, a romantic partner, or a co-worker. The tone of voice and body language often help clarify what we mean when we interact in person. However, with the advance of technology, email and text messages have replaced other more personal forms of interaction. Particularly in the last decade or so, with people actively participating in conversations on various social media platforms, miscommunication can lead to grief or even depression when it can be easily prevented by using language features correctly and exchanging information clearly.

After all, clear communication is the purpose of language. That's why we have so many adjectives. We use them to describe nouns so that the image created in the reader's or listener's mind matches the one in ours. For example, when I talk to my friend and say I bought a table, I'm not communicating the shape, size, material, or color of the table. Unless I add a few modifiers, it's not clear if my table is round, square, rectangular, or oval, if it's small or large, whether the table is made of wood, glass, or metal, if it's a coffee table, a side table, or a dining table, etc. Most likely whether or not I describe the kind of table I buy won't have an impact on my relationship with my friend, but the point is that for more serious matters the clarity of communication is significant. It's also true that in some cases grammar mistakes don't make the meaning of a sentence ambiguous, but it many cases they do.

Reading comprehension is already subjective in that it varies from person to person. We perceive and interpret things based on perspective, circumstance, culture, environment, upbringing, and even mood. Sometimes even the same person reading the same book in two different stages of life will perceive a different message. I'm speaking from personal experience: I've read The Alchemist three times (actually read it twice and listened to Jeremy Irons read the book once), once every five or six years over the last twenty years. Each time I've had a different understanding of it.

Now imagine a person who has no idea who you are, what your beliefs are, what your religious and cultural background is, where you were raised, what kind of parents and teachers you've had, what your current circumstances are, what your present mood is, what your triggers are, and what your language abilities are wants to exchange some kind of information with you on social media. Now imagine you don't know anything about this person at all. You don't know who they are, what their beliefs are, what their religious and cultural background is, where they were raised, what kind of parents and teachers they've had, what their current circumstances are, what their present mood is, what their triggers are, and what their language abilities are. At the very least, what both of you can do to help this communication take place effectively is to follow some basic rules. Being polite to each other and using language correctly seem to be the most basic rules. Now imagine that what one considers polite may be rude to the other, depending on the culture. The only thing you have left is language.

I see it all the time on Facebook, people attacking each other because they've misunderstood one another. As a person who has traveled a lot and has become familiar with many cultures and as an English teacher with experience teaching to students from all over the world, I tend to “get” people more easily than some, and I see how much not getting what people really mean to say affects the mood. I've lost count of the number of times I've left a comment for someone asking them to check my message to them on Messenger (if you're not “friends,” they don't know to look for it unless you tell them), and in my message I've explained that in their communication with this other person, they had misunderstood each other. Of course, the misunderstanding leads to certain assumptions and so forth. Before you know it, what could have been a simply beautiful sharing of information suddenly turns into a nightmare.  Sometimes it's cultural, but most times it's grammatical. Using a double negative, the wrong verb tense, or bad punctuation (or no punctuation at all) can lead to a disaster, and it's senseless. It can so easily be prevented.  Keep in mind English is not everyone's first language. Some people do mean well but don't know how to express themselves or their true feelings in English.  They are trying and they are learning.  At least the side that has the knowledge and ability to use the language correctly should do their best.

I hope that people who read this post will make an effort to be grammatically, and otherwise, effective in their communications. I also hope that they can learn to be more generous in their assumptions when they are interacting with someone they don't know on social media. 

Noosha – aka Grammar Nazi